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Here's a gift (courtesy of a SW newsgroup...)

As scary as it might seem, May 25, 2007 is the 30th birthday of the Star Wars franchise. Doubtless there will be celebrations, and hopefully nobody reading here will consider any of these while attending.


Things Not to Do at Your Star Wars 30th Birthday Party


10> Since you're 47 years old and never had a girlfriend, ask your sister if she'd be willing to help you recreate the scene where Leia kisses Luke.

9> Try to use the Force on your teenage babysitter.

8> Require everyone to leave the party via the garbage chute.

7> Bend over and light the candles on your cake with the Blue Flame of Alderaan, like your frat brother did back at Jedi U.

6> Refer to the young chicks as "womprats" you'd like to "bulls-eye".

5> Let the kids take turns putting each other into Carbon-Freeze.

4> Please, for the Light Side's sake, resist showing party guests your small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port.

3> A rowdy game of droid tossing.

2> The "asteroid search" game is not supposed to include body cavities.

and the Number 1 Thing Not to Do at Your Star Wars 30th Birthday Party...

1> Drop your pants, point at your huge bare ass, and yell, "That's no moon! It's a space station!"