Quoting skipnet50:
Quote:
Don't get me started on political issues, whispering. My condolences to you and the Finnish people for this aberration. I understand he tried to kill himself and failed.
Skip
I read today that he did die... Probably just as well..
Here's a little something I posted the other day in another forum ( not funny, so I don't like to call it Joke Forum) ;
School Then 1957 vs School Now 2007 #1. Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into
school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. Principal goes
to his own car and gets out his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, and FBI is called. Jack is
hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again.
Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
#2. Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and
end up best friends.
2007 - Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and Mark are
arrested and charged with assault.
Both are expelled even though Johnny started it.
#3. Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the
principal. He returns to class, sits still,
and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with ADD and given huge doses of
Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because
Jeffrey has a learning disability.
#4. Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car
and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up, goes to college,
and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in
foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister
that she ‘remembers’ being abused herself, and their dad goes off to prison.
Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
#5. Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with principal out on the smoking deck.
2007 - Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug
violations. Car is searched for drugs and weapons.
#6. Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English,
goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles
appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for
graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state
school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core
curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns
for a living because he cannot speak English.
#7. Scenario: 1957 - Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from
4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle,
blows up a red ant bed. Ants die.
2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security,
and FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI
investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers
confiscated. Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never
allowed to fly again.
#8. Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes
his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Heather. Heather hugs him
to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Heather is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her
job. She faces three years in state prison.
Johnny parents sue School district for $50 Million for Neglect, Sexual Abuse & Suffering.
Johnny undergoes five years of therapy .